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Votes for an Aerostich suit I’m taking this purchase of an Aerostich jumpsuit very seriously, as it’s not every day that you get to select your own futuristic armored coveralls (my co-worker Jason Robinette mentioned the seminal jumpsuit film The Running Man, pictured at right.) Votes so far: Red with silver trim: My stepfather Robin…

Well, I took the plunge and bought a motorcycle! It’s a 1982 Suzuki GS450L. I’ve heard this kind of bike referred to as a “UJM”, a “Universal Japanese Motorcycle.” It has 5100 miles, and is scrupulously clean. I think it’s a really good deal! Now I can start acting extra cool (sarcasm.) I’ve been looking…

I finished Motorcycle school today, and … I passed the tests! Only one student scrubbed out today – a tall stockbroker who owns a Triumph racing bike (the same as in Mission Impossible 2), and a really cool Arai helmet. During the stopping portion of the skill test, though, he hit the brakes too hard,…

Motorcycle Safety School is held on a large asphalt range behind the track at Yonkers Raceway. I arrived at about seven, as the morning warmups were still going on for harness racers. Behind the track, three steel shipping containers were full of the Honda and Suzuki 250s that the class rode all day. The bikes…

I’m on the BxM4C bus from Manhattan to Yonkers Raceway for Motorcycle Safety School. The bus is full of night workers coming off their shift. Everyone knows the driver’s name, and vice versa. As we cross into the Bronx and stop at a light, the low morning sun slants into the front. The driver (Dave)…

All Your Base Are Belong To Us Somebody set up us the bomb! Click on the link above IMMEDIATELY. Turn your sound card up, LOUD. You have no chance to survive make your time.

All Your Base Are Belong To Us I got the best request for the Ultimate Water Gun yet to date! Here’s a sample: …In my distress I called upon the LORD, and cried unto my God: he heard my voice out of his temple, and my cry came before him, even into his ears. Immediately…

The Terror of Sharpless Alley Well, now I’m an official Badass Motorcyclist! That’s me in the picture, wearing my new motorcycle helmet and gloves, bearing down on the camera at breakneck speed like the Lone Biker of the Apocalypse. (Would it look more convincing if I airbrushed out the kickstand?) Anyhow, I had a great…

Here’s a Mullet that I saw on the subway to work this morning. I took a picture with my PalmPix. Note the long, creamy rush of hair down over the collar. I’m going to name this the “Rutger Hauermullet.” Lots more mullets

Waiting for Hasselhoff: Okay, this is all I’m going to say until tomorrow, when I can get more pictures off of my friend Henry’s digital camera: Thanks to UPOC‘s New York Celebrity Sightings wireless message group, I am now the proud owner of an important new keepsake. More to come.