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Damn! Someone just used JustATip.com to notify me that I have poor computer skills. This is dismaying, and I am shamed. Now, if I could just find out who that person is, so that I can notify them of their “poor crotch hygeine”, or perhaps their “frequent flatulence…” John@Tikaro.com, You Have Poor Computer Skills “…For…

I’m a two-bit Midas!I hate, hate, hate having coins jingling around in my pocket, so I’ve been dumping all my change in piles at home and at work. On Thursday, I collected it all in a Gatorade bottle and dumped it — slightly sticky — into a nearby CoinStar machine. I asked for estimates before…

Gina Rules My Street When I got up this morning to go to the gym, a Meg Ryan movie had taken over my block. Orange cones, flatbed trucks, and blonde production assistants with headset radios filled the streets. Store fronts had been transformed overnight (Hipster bag merchant Soho Togs had been turned into “Maven Electronics”…

Rural Delivery, Raratonga Saturday is Alumni day at Westtown school, the Quaker school outside of Philadelphia where I went for 11 years (and boarded the last three.) I spent an hour last night reading alumni updates in the school’s quarterly magazine. The letters are arranged by class year. Reading all the letters, from the class…

I had a great weekend — I cleaned out old storage, and retrieved my banjo, the silver firefighter’s coat that goes with the Ultimate Water Gun, and my grandfather’s steel foot locker, which is hand-lettered “Lt. Col. John R. Young, HQ 324th fighter group”, and is just about my most prized possession. Also the heaviest.…

I Walk a Day in Uncle Duke’s Shoes I made a big mistake yesterday, when I was standing in the breakfast line at the deli counter. Every New York deli has a wire stand from which dangles dozens of packets of herbal and vitamin supplements. “Herbal zip!” “Buzz’s Bombers!” “NATURAL Super MEN’S PACK FOUR!” I…

My Goal This Summer After reading all about my new hero, Robert Fulton, I’ve decided that I have a new sartorial goal this summer. To wit, I wish to: Find and purchase a new, top-quality pith helmet. Find a location/setting/event where I can wear the pith helmet. This event must be such that the pith…

Ad Aspera, Per Astra Yesterday was a bee-oo-tiful day in Manhattan, and I sent an evite out to lots of people to go have dinner outdoors somewhere. Noone could go except my friend Jovan, who’s a hair and makeup artist with a small poodle named Mac that she carries around in a tote bag. Jovan…

God’s in His heaven, and all’s right with the world (except for dogs) I just got back from a fantastic weekend. I totally blew off Small Arms Firing School and rented a red Ford Taurus instead, went down to Philly, picked up Kate on a moment’s notice, drove to the Poconos, got a fireplace/jacuzzi suite…

“…Like the fake muscles on Batman’s suit!” In an age of colossal SUVs, the most colossal of them all is parked in front of my building every morning. It’s a Cadillac Canyonero, er, I mean a Cadillac Escalade, and it looks like two of the Griswold’s station wagons from National Lampoon’s Vacation stacked on top…