I love special-purpose gear. I especially love special-purpose gear in bright colors. And I freaking LOVE special-purpose gear in bright colors that conjures ADVENTURE. And helicopters.

So I’m incredibly fortunate that firefighter uber-outlet The Fire Store is just around the corner in Coatesville. I went there on a SECRET MISSION this morning to talk to their embroidery department, and I took some pictures, in which I start foaming at the mouth from excitement. Speaking of foam, did I mention they have foam depth charges just kind of casually sitting around next to the special-purpose Pelican Cases? And they have helmet crests (all the leather awesomeness of horse tack, with all the graphical punch of Fisher-Price Adventure People!) And Combine Soldier gear, if you’re into that.

Just check out all the helmets: each is heavy, like a motorcycle helmet, with all kinds of mount points for expensive flashlights with triangular cross-sections. And oxygen masks. And radios. Plus, they all have a kind of a new-car smell:

As icing on the cake, Declan the embroiderer instantly picked up on what I wanted to do, unlike every other embroiderer I’ve talked to who’s looked at me sideways and patiently explained to me why I’m an idiot. Plus, anything I do through the Fire Store is going to be just totally STEEPED in Rescue Ranger karma. Wow, what a morning!