The “before” picture of my volcano lair. I hope.

I want to line everything up and paint numbers on the floor under each vehicle, as if it were a Secret Underground Base of Operations.
One of the most wonderful things about living in West Chester is having an honest-to-goodness garage to keep stuff in. It’s actually a separate building, the garage, which of course gives me delusions of grandeur. Yesterday, I got a chance to hang two of an eventual six shoplights, which I hope will start the process of transformation from fairly ordinary frowzy cinderblock space into the gleaming Teutonic rocket lab from Moonraker.

The contents of the garage are a promising start. Besides a lawn mower, a broadcast lawn fertilizer spreader, and several rakes, the garage currently contains:

  • Various bits and pieces (the 1946 naval searchlight tripod, the 1986 Eiki 16MM projector) for the Guerilla Drive-In,
  • A framed Dr. Cube poster from Kaiju Big Battel in 2001,
  • Neoprene, glue, two-part foam, and other bits and pieces left over from the moribund Retropod project;
  • The Ultimate Water Gun (now guns) in winter storage.
  • Kate’s Mom’s Austin Healey, which classes up any garage. Also good for stylish getaways.
  • Kate’s awesome Honda CB360T.
  • A croquet set in a flash wooden box, a wedding present from Genevieve and Francesco. (Fifty additional bragging points if your croquet set is a gift from an actual British expat.)
  • My BMW 1977 R100/7 motorcycle/sidecar outfit, which is good for stylish entrances. Right now, the gas tank is getting re-lined in Maryland. Having the tank off makes the bike look absurdly dejected.
  • Enough camping gear to outfit a brigade (a nylon-clad hippy brigade), which hasn’t seen the light of day since I last aired it out in 2003.

Once all the lights are up, the next step will be to clean everything out briefly so I can wash and maybe paint the walls. I’d love to plan some kind of event that would use all the gear simultaneously, though it’s hard to imagine how to combine camping, croquet, and a bright red Austin Healey in a way that doesn’t involve heavy, heavy drinking. Any suggestions?

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