I was reading the “What to expect when you’re expecting” book last night. Opened it at random:

“LISTERIA
Listeria is a bacteria that [yadda yadda] respiratory failure, convulsions [yadda yadda] common and dangerous [yadda yadda]”

Precautions to take:

• Listeria is common in the food supply.
  
• Expectant mothers should be careful when handling and preparing food.”
  

WTF? How is that useful to ANYBODY IN THE WORLD? Jeezum PETE, no wonder moms are percieved as worry-warts with that kind of advice. “It’s dangerous. How to avoid it: 1) It’s everywhere. 2) Be careful.” Gloria Steinem was right; you’d never see this:

“The Wall Street Journal Stock Market Tips
Many people lose money in the stock market and become unwashed, unloved bums.

Precautions to take:

• This happens to many people.
  
• Try not to lose your money.”
  

Okay, pregnancy books: FUCK YOU.

Kate went to prenatal swimming class at the Y yesterday! And I’m trying to remember all the words to “He who has plenty of patent-reversible sit-on-and-mash-em operatic silk plug hats, and giveth his neighbor none”, so I can teach young Hezekiah about responsibility.

Which, hopefully, will keep the young infant from growing up writing USELESS PREGNANCY ADVICE.