Like a Tom Clancy novel, but all the details are about suburban life:

I am now the proud owner of a Scotts SpeedyGreen®1000 Broadcast Spreader, which I used on Sunday morning to distribute 20 pounds of Agway Greenlawn 31-3-5 Weed Control and Fertilizer.
In order to combat an outbreak of Ranunculus Ficaria L. Which is rather pretty, but our neighbor Jerry is rabid on the subject of Ranunculus (“That damn stuff’ll take over! I’ll get rid of it if I have to kill the whole lawn!”), and we have to be seen doing our part in the Coalition of Willing Weedkillers.

The spreader was a lot of fun to operate, sending pretty cascades of waxy white pellets in every direction. Though it’s going to take up a much-begrugded couple of square feet in the shed.