The devil finds work for all hands

It’s been slower than usual at [My employer], with Passover and Easter: many of our clients took off early on Wednesday, and won’t be returning until Monday morning. So, naturally, my cube-neighbor Jeremy Fain decided to put on his bunny suit and distribute candy around the office. Jeremy didn’t participate in Mustaches for Kids; he usually sticks to the activities when he can be sure that he’ll have the women in the office eating out of his hand. At which he invariably succeeds, and today was no exception. (Kieran took the pictures.)

Meanwhile, new [My employer] hire Todd Bender was bursting with ideas on how to make piles of money using The Ultimate Water Gun. Todd’s immortal soul is in danger, I’m afraid: he was babbling on about how to create synergy and generate piles of money using “brand awareness.” We politely explained the flaws in that business model using the example of the “Underpants Gnome” scheme, then politely and firmly convinced him to appear at the Ed Sullivan Theater this summer wearing the UWG and a shiny, padded pair of Boy Wonder tights.

The results of Todd’s screen test are encouraging. Also, you can see the wireless helmet-cam now mounted to the UWG; it’s the blue box on top of the nozzle. Ideas for deploying the helmet cam are welcome.