I’m gonna let this man look at my log files. Possibly, he will go blind.

I was driving back from DC last night, scanning the radio stations, when I came across a slow-voiced Christian preacher (Chuck Swindoll, pictured at left) speaking about the deadly… dangers… of… online… pornography. Hot damn! Unfortunately, he didn’t get into interesting specifics (“Sinners, stay away from the perils of the Mexican Donkey Show!”), but he started giving an online product the hard sell: Net Accountability, which is kind of a distributed NetNanny program that is powered by the Christian Third Rail: Shame.

The idea is that you sign up for Net Accountability, download a spy applet to your computer, and use the Internet like normal:

• http://www.jesusisgreat.com
  
• http://www.the700club.com
  
• http://www.kittens.com
  
• HTTP://WWW.HOT_FREAKY_ABERRANCE.COM
  

…Oops! Sinned, again, Lord!

The Net Accountability spy applet watches the pages that you visit, then UPLOADS THE DETAILS of your hot, freaky, aberrant browsing to the Christian mother ship, where the people you choose (your “accountibility partners”) are invited to view the sordid details of your online experience. And that’s the idea: your access to lots of online porn isn’t blocked, but you won’t visit the porn because your pastor or your librarian or whatever will find out about it. (And, possibly, learn a number of hot new URLs.)

Michel Foucault would have a field day with this! The power of the collective warm, sweaty gaze, penetrating the CRT, illuminating the phosphors of the screen with the power of righteous shame: long story short, I couldn’t pass it up. So I signed up for Net Accountability (at a cost of $12.00 for the next three months), and I’m sharing the Accountability password with you all, so you can see what kind of trouble I get into*:

URL: http://www.netaccountability.com

Click on “Current members log in”

Username: tikaro_guest

Password: guest

So far, I have zero questionable sites in my log, which doesn’t make for interesting reading. So I sent them a bug report asking which sites I should visit to get a more interesting report, and have something to talk about when I stand up at the tent revivals. Let’s see what they say.

* PS. Don’t worry, you’re not going to learn anything about me you don’t want to know: I’m guessing that the sites I already do visit will ring all kinds of Christian alarm bells.