I am become Death, the shatterer of worlds.

Well, no, but I did move several notches up the spammer ladder today, as I learned how to broadcast the lastest news about Nick Carter and the “cute boy collectible MEGA posters of Aaron, Fred Durst, Sub 41, O-Town, Eminem, and ‘N Sync”, available in this month’s issue of M Magazine. M is one of Bauer’s properties, and as the internet go-to guy, I’ve been tapped to run their bulkmail. So I exported all 114,000 email addresses from the website’s SQL database, imported them into the Worldcast program on my laptop, chose a DNS server, and spammed away. It’s churning right now, as a matter of fact, and has completed 26,000 of 114,000 users in about 45 minutes. About 10% (2158, right now) of the addresses are invalid, which seems like an average number.

It’s not spam, really — this is an opt-in mailing list, with a clear “remove” link at the bottom, and my program validates the addresses before sending — but there’s something of a weak illicit thrill to it, like lighting up a cigarette at a high school reunion.

Also: One-tenth of one percent of the people on this mailing list (112 of them) have the word “bootylicious” in their address.