The worst piece of swag ever

I gave platelets again this morning. It was hard this time; I was on the one-arm machine this time, and it complained the whole time (“Warning! Low Draw Volume! [continue/rinseback]”), and my hand went to sleep, and my lips were tingling (so I had to chew Tums, I’m not sure why), and I had the scary technician who yells at me (“Don’t move your arm! That needle tear your vein up!“), so all in all I earned my halo today.

When I left, they gave me the worst piece of swag I’ve ever seen. It’s a refrigerator magnet about six inches in diameter, advertising the somewhat arcane fact that the plateletpheresis machine has a centrifuge. “Yay, my precious bodily fluids were sent to a machine and returned to me!” It’s gross, it’s dizzying, and the freaky blood-drop beanbag character has an odd, complacent grin carved between its tumescent cheeks. Why does it need eyebrows, for christ’s sake?

Here’s a much cooler mascot.