I got a call yesterday from the New York Blood Services Special Donors Unit, which has a nice paramilitary ring to it. Apparently, I’ve been selected as a donor for leukapharesis, giving white blood cells to a 13-year old girl with blood cancer.

On the one hand, that’s great! I’m now an Elite Bleeder. On the other hand, I see that donations are limited to 12 per lifetime. Why is that? Will I get 1/12 dumber? Will it suck out 1/12 of my vital life force?

Well, I’ll find out. I’ll be on the two-arm science fiction apharesis machine from 7AM to 9AM tomorrow morning, with my slicky Bluetooth headset on; feel free to give me a call and see if I sound any stupider.