Ultimate Water Gun’s next mission: Yale Wet Monday

“An Ultimate Water Gun request came in yesterday from one Matthew Brimer. (That’s him, second from the left — click goes to Flickr page) Here’s what Matthew had to say:

“Good evening sir. I am a freshman at Yale University. At Yale, there are 12 residential colleges that all undergrads live in. I am a member of JE College. We have, annualy, an excellent and maniacal event known simply as Wet Monday. This is an old and historic tradition of JE College, an epic and infamous water battle between JE freshmen and JE upperclassmen every year. Wet Monday, rooted in biblical history and debauchery, begins at the stroke of midnight on Easter Sunday night/Easter Monday morning. Many weeks of planning, strategizing, tactic building, etc. go into Wet Monday on both sides. It is the duty of the JE freshman to launch an incursion from outside on JE proper with various weapons of mass saturation (water balloons, super-soakers, etc).”

Yale alumnus Jeremy Fain has greenlighted the loan, so we’re going to be sending it out to Matthew. Good luck to you, friend.

Ultimate Water Gun’s next mission: Yale Wet Monday

It’s easy to pretend you’re super-dad when you have a cast of thousands

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Kate’s at home now, God’s in his heaven, the birds are chirping in the trees, and all’s right with the world. Here are my thoughts on being in sole charge of a toddler for five days:

1. To begin with, I wasn’t in sole charge of a toddler for five days. Every day, I had between two and five(!) hours of babysitting time from the grandparents. I think having at least one hour of daylight free time every day is the difference between “hey, no problem”, and dangerous mental resource depletion. And then having three hours of daylight free time? Work has proceeded so quickly on my garage that I’m almost ready to launch the rocketship through the sliding roof.

Okay, so I guess I only had one thought, which is “I had a really, really cushy time of it”, and I’m really grateful to the grandparents. Though she missed Kate a whole lot, Lydia was totally happy and relaxed; when I tried to explain to her the third or fourth time that mommy was visiting friends, she nodded and said, “yes, on a airplane.” Duh, daddy!

It’s easy to pretend you’re super-dad when you have a cast of thousands

The three-stage coda of airline grief

Kate got stuck in Chicago last night due to weather, and was put through the five stages of airline annoyance:

  1. Denial: “Your flight is on time. We’ll be boarding in five minutes… despite the fact that the plane is, uh… still in Schenectady.”
  2. Anger: WTF? Stupid airline! #@#$@#$#@!!!!!

Okay, I guess I can stop right there at two stages, unless “waiting three hours for a shuttle to take you to a hotel at an undisclosed location, where you get to wait forty minutes to check in” is a stage. Actually, I guess it is. Let me take another stab at it:

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Waiting in line for {rebooking agent, shuttle bus, hotel check-in}
  4. Repeat steps 2-3 indefinitely

Poor Kate! Anyhow, Lydia and I are still having a nice time, though we’re looking forward to go picking her up.

The three-stage coda of airline grief

I’m sorry Mario, but OH NO THE FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE

The weather was so amazingly beautiful today that we went to the bike store and bought a toddler seat for the back of Kate’s bike (sorry, Kate, I commandeered your bike in the name of Justice.) We spent a long morning attaching it to the bike — since the lawn is a lot more toddler friendly than the garage, there was no end of entertainment dropping small allen-head screws into the long, dry winter grass and then searching for them. Without even the comfort of profanity. After that, two diaper changes and a nap, we were all set to go, and wobbled down the street. Lydia looks adorably like Toad from Super Mario Brothers in her big ol’ helmet, and she loves riding in the chair, so I now have…

Oh crap, Lydia just learned how to turn on the television.

I’m sorry Mario, but OH NO THE FORBIDDEN KNOWLEDGE

Ugh, I’m such a central-casting dad.

We have story time at 9:30, but I’m not sure if it’s at the West Chester Public Library, or the Exton Public Library. Damn, if there’s one impression I did NOT want to give with this whole taking care of the toddler for five days, it’s the amiably-befuddled dad who doesn’t know where anything is in the cabinets. Crap, crap, crap. Okay, both websites inconclusive, and I’m not about to call them up and spend the entire storytime being that dad in the session. Okay, heads it’s Exton, tails it’s West Chester…

Update: Okay, wherever storytime was, it wasn’t at the Exton Public Library, so instead we had the standard course of daddy-daughter “there is no quality time without quantity time” interactions:

  1. Rode the rocking moose in the children’s section of the Exton public library.
  2. Looked on with some thinly-veiled consternation as other toddlers rode the rocking moose.
  3. Picked books to read out of the board-book bin.
  4. Looked on with thinly-veiled consternation as other toddlers picked books to read out of the board-book bin.
  5. Built houses and escalators (the two design patterns Lydia is interested in) at the Duplo table.
  6. Looked on with thinly-veiled etc.

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    Adjourn to private venue, then…

  7. Learned to use the CD player’s controls
  8. Blew bubbles (and licked the wand, blech!)
  9. Stomped around in the sunshine
  10. Nap (for both of us)

So all in all, a very satisfactory morning! Now Kate’s mom is taking LBY for a few hours, so I’m going to go work on the garage. I am a lucky, lucky dad.

Ugh, I’m such a central-casting dad.

It’s just baby and me!

Kate is off on her very first mommy-time-off trip, visiting a good friend in Seattle. She left at 6:30 this morning (Wednesday), and she’ll be back around midnight on Sunday. That means it’s just Lydia and me for five days! I’m really looking forward to this, though of course I’m a little nervous about it, especially since the weather is cool and we can’t kill two hours running around in circles on the lawn. And I don’t think she’ll be all that interested in my current project of installing enough lighting in the garage to bake a ham.

So right now, we’re off to the Philadelphia Zoo to see the monkeys. Wish me luck! My goals:

  • A good time for both of us
  • A healthy amount of father-daughter field trips (the zoo, maybe the “please touch” museum, go get some more broadfall pants in Lancaster.)
  • Regular, non-junk-food meals.
  • A bath every night. Plus a bath for her, if she needs one.

Update: we just got back. Everything went great. Lydia learned how to say “Capybara.” Pictures here!

It’s just baby and me!